It Takes 12 Puns To Make A Dozen

 1. I sleep in our fireplace but boy do I sleep like a log.

2. An alligator wearing a vest is called an investigator.

3. Sure, I drink brake fluid. But I can stop anytime.

4. To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

5. Can February March? No, but April May.

6. I bet if you took a day off at the calendar factory they would fire you.

7. Patty would be a good name for a hamburger.

8. What would you feel like if you lost your mood ring.

9. I bet a good book about anti-gravity would be impossible to put down.

10. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

11. A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

12. What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.