Five Quick Meals and Five Bar Jokes

Today I’m sharing five quick and healthy meal recipes that can be prepared in 30 minutes or less. Plus Five “Man Walks Into A Bar” Jokes. Ok I know, that’s not the best combination, and the jokes are not that great, but I still think you’ll enjoy the recipes. #4 The Grilled Chicken Salad is my favorite!

So here they are.

1. Grilled Chicken and Vegetables: Marinate chicken breasts in olive oil, lemon juice, and your favorite herbs and spices. Grill the chicken for about 5-7 minutes on each side, until cooked through. Slice zucchini, bell pepper, and onion, and grill them alongside the chicken for about 5-7 minutes until tender. Serve the grilled chicken and vegetables with a side of brown rice or quinoa for a complete and nutritious meal.

2. Chickpea and Spinach Curry: Heat olive oil in a saucepan and sauté chopped onion and garlic until fragrant. Add canned chickpeas, diced tomatoes, and a teaspoon of curry powder. Stir in a handful of spinach until it wilts, and season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve the curry over a bed of brown rice for a hearty and healthy meal.

3. Turkey and Veggie Stir-Fry: Heat oil in a wok or large skillet over high heat. Add ground turkey and cook until browned. Add chopped broccoli florets, sliced bell peppers, and sliced carrots, and stir-fry for 2-3 minutes until the vegetables are tender. Add a splash of soy sauce and a pinch of red pepper flakes for flavor. Serve the stir-fry with a side of brown rice or whole wheat noodles for a nutritious and satisfying meal.

4. Grilled Chicken Salad: Grill some chicken while you prepare a salad with mixed greens, cherry tomatoes, sliced cucumbers, and chopped carrots. Top with the grilled chicken and add some sliced avocado for a healthy source of fats.

5. Veggie Stir-Fry: Stir-fry some mixed veggies like broccoli, bell peppers, onions, and mushrooms in a little bit of oil. Serve over brown rice or quinoa for a complete meal.

Now here are 5 versions of the classic "man walks into a bar" joke:

1. A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "What's with the bird?" The parrot replies, "Just keeping an eye on him, he gets drunk and starts talking to the plants."

2. A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "That'll be $5." The man hands him a $10 bill and says, "Keep the change." The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't have change. We're a cashless bar."

3. A screwdriver rolls into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The screwdriver squeals, “You have a drink named Philip?”  

4. A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer here. We only serve whiskey." The man looks around confused and says, "This isn't the church?"

5. A man walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads "Free drinks for life if you can make our horse laugh." The man thinks for a moment and then whispers something in the horse's ear. The horse starts laughing uncontrollably and the man gets free drinks for life. The bartender asks him what he said to the horse. The man replies, "I just told him my salary."

Now for the bonus, here are five more,

1. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar TENDER here?"

2. A five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey. This is a singles bar."

3. A tennis ball walks into a bar. The barman says, "Have you been served?"

4. The past, present, and future walk into a bar….It was tense.

5. A Sandwich Walks Into A Bar. The Bartender Says...”Sorry we don’t serve food here”

Ok, now for the extra bonus, here are five more:

1. A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

2. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I'm not the one who just walked into a bar."

3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

4. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer and a mop."

5. A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables. the bartender says...“Hey pal, don’t start anything in here."

Thanks for reading

Tom